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Do you know who you really are?

These past few months have been really difficult for me and my husband. Why? Life changes all the time. It’s how we react to life changes that reflect who we are and how people see us.

What happened?

Our current house just wasn’t working for us anymore. Our son, Alex moved out a couple of months ago. Madison-Kate, our daughter, isn’t home much. Dewayne and I were overwhelmed with the amount of house and yard work in our current walk of life. Dewayne has been working six (6) days a week and I come home exhausted from work. So, Dewayne and I put our house on the market, moved into a tiny 2-bedroom apartment (his daughter plus two mini dachshunds in tow), and started a new house build, all within a month. Think about that for a minute. Let it soak in… Now continue reading.

How do we handle situations?

We (most people in general) complain about something small that happens out of place from the norm. Everyone handles these situations differently.

Example Situations:

  • Our newspaper doesn’t get delivered.
  • Our car blows a gasket and we can’t get to work.
  • We are stuck in traffic for a couple of hours and someone has to pee.
  • Someone steals our package from Amazon in route to being delivered.

What makes us different?

Everyone handles life differently because we are all created different by God. Did you know that there are nine (9) different personality types? I didn’t know about these till a couple of weeks ago. Our team at work read the Book The Road Back to You: An Enneagram Journey to Self-Discovery by Ian Cron and Suzanne Stabile. Each of us discovered that we are one of the nine types of personalities.

Those personalities include:

  1. Type One: The Perfectionist
  2. Type Two: The Helper
  3. Type Three: The Performer
  4. Type Four: The Romantic
  5. Type Five: The Investigator
  6. Type Six: The Loyalist
  7. Type Seven: The Enthusiast
  8. Type Eight: The Challenger
  9. Type Nine: The Peacemaker

What did I discover? I am Type Five, the Investigator.

I am most disconnected with my feelings/emotions in the moment, but then allow those feelings to come back to me later in private so I can process them.

  • This is probably the reason I don’t cry at weddings or funerals.
  • I don’t get angry at people during that moment. I come back later to settle things.
  • I have feelings. I just don’t let them rule me. I process them and then move on to the next thing.

I am a very private person, thus why writing this article is super hard for me.

  • I don’t post to social media much, at least not private things in my life or my opinions.
  • I have a hard time making friends, because that means I have to confide and share my life.
  • Give me time to decompress if I am out the night before. I need time for my thoughts.

I am a sponge for information and knowledge. It’s how I survive.

  • Explains why I loved school and seven years of college.
  • I would rather read a book to learn about something new than go to a party.

I am self-contained, all wrapped into an adorable stand-alone package.

  • I sometimes accidentally neglect my husband’s emotions, and I am in constant check to make sure he and I are connected.
  • I am super independent and not easily afraid to do things by myself, however, I want to be social at times.
  • I have friends in different pockets of my life (i.e. church, work, family, music, college) that have never met each other or know of each other. Kind of unnerving when one of them meets the other somehow and then comes back to me and says, “I didn’t know you knew so-and-so.” Yes, that happened last month.

I am a minimalist.

  • Purging stuff in my house or off my desk makes me happy (makes Dewayne nervous). I don’t need much to live on.
  • I haven’t won any fashion shows lately. Going shopping for clothes is last on my list of things to do. Dewayne is my personal shopping and stylist.

How has this knowledge helped me recently?

Okay, back to my original story about us selling our house, moving into a small apartment, and building a house all at the same time. You are probably thinking, “That’s a lot going on!” Well, while my husband and I were painting and prepping the house to sell, my emotions caught up with me on the third night around 10:15pm as I stood on a ladder in front of the fireplace painting. Dewayne came by and told me I was doing it wrong. I just stopped, looked at him and burst into tears. And the tears flowed for about 30 minutes while I moved the roller up and down above the mantle.

I thought something was wrong with me. Why would I just burst into tears like that? I was normally so great at concealing my feelings till everything was over and I was alone. I was vulnerable, exhausted, and covered with cuts and bruises from the previous move to the apartment. I had enough!

After learning that an Investigator type stores their feelings away and they resurface later, that explains my outburst.

So now what?

Knowing your type can help you navigate situations better. Ever wonder why you do the things you do? You can find out right now for free and then come back to this story and post your type in the comments.

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